Fifty shades of dismay: The invasion of the gray vinyl floor

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Published Date 8/21/2024

Did you just move into a house whose previous owner or the landlord followed the go-gray-or-go-away trend? Don't worry, you're not alone in your boredom with these slabs of synthetic sadness. Yes — it was a trend and somehow took over homes faster than a horde of zombie apocalypse survivors, according to Realtor.com’s Julie Taylor.

The Los Angeles Times calls them "soulless," while The Atlantic describes their color as ranging from "vape cloud to wet gravel." It's as if they're competing for the "Most Depressing Flooring" award, and they're winning by a landslide.

So where did this gray plague come from? You can blame it on the early 2010s and our collective obsession with looking "modern" and “minimalist." And let's not forget the influence of home renovation shows like Fixer Upper. While Joanna Gaines might not have directly started the gray floor trend, her love for neutral palettes (as well as other hosts of HGTV renovation shows) certainly didn't help.

Despite the growing backlash, these gray invaders show no signs of retreating. Why? Because they're cost-effective, durable, and apparently, flippers and landlords love them more than they love raising their rents. So let's talk about the literal elephant in the room. The biggest drawback of these floors is that they're, well — gray. Taylor quotes Cedric Stewart, a real estate consultant, who eloquently states, "There's nothing exciting about gray. Let's be honest."

She also consulted with designer Justin M. Riordan who takes it a step further, describing gray vinyl floors as "visually flat and emotionally uninspiring." He adds that we now have "a generation of homeowners blissfully unaware of the surgical sterility they're installing underfoot.” The real kicker? Just like the fake wood paneling of the 1960s, these floors are so durable that they'll probably outlast your will to live with them. It's the flooring equivalent of that one friend who doesn't know when to leave the party.

Taylor says, however, that there are ways to combat the "gray blahs." Throw down some colorful rugs, add some vibrant accessories. If you can't change your floors, change your perspective. Remember: the next time you look down at your gray vinyl floors and feel a wave of existential dread wash over you, take heart in the idea that you’re part of a nationwide phenomenon. You're not just walking on floors; you're walking on a piece of questionable design history. Unless you are in a position to replace them, embrace the gray. Work with it. You’ll live.

Realtor, TBWS

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